Things My Mother Never Taught Me

Let me just start off by saying that my mother is an incredible woman. She has dealt with so many obstacles in her life and came out better  on the other side. She raised 4 kids to adulthood and we are all awesome individuals ( at least I like to think so)

But there are so many things that I never learned from her. Things that I wish someone had taught me when I was growing up. Things that I don’t think HER mother taught her either. Things such as:

How to wear High Heels.

Like really, what 42 year old woman doesn’t know how to wear high heels. Although I can wear them (sort of), I always feel like an imposter when I do. I never had that learning curve growing up and now? I feel like a little kid playing dress up when I put them on. I mean really, it’s very awkward for me. Mom never wore heels. Ever.  In fact, she preferred to be barefoot most of the year. We used to joke about only putting on shoes just so that we could go to McDonalds. (We didn’t have a Walmart back then or we woulda joked about “dressing up” to go there)

How to put on makeup.

Mom never wears any makeup. Never did either. She was brought up with the belief that “good” girls didn’t paint their faces.There were lots of things that “good girls:” didn’t do.

I tried to do makeup a few times in high school. Let’s just say it didn’t work out so well and leave it at that, shall we? I think I’ve gotten somewhat better over the years but I still prefer not to put it on. I’m not sure why I don’t wear it, maybe it’s just that I’m  not in the habit of wearing it often enough. Maybe something I need to work on this year?

How to be stylish

Being as poor as we often were, wearing the latest styles was something we never could afford. I can recall offers of help from other girls in picking out the right clothes at the mall. Back then, I was too ashamed to admit that we didn’t have money to buy clothes from the mall. We just couldn’t afford it. My clothes came from the local thrift store. The big requirements were that they were clean and they fit. No talk of how they looked. I still struggle with this concept every day. I prefer to wear t-shirts that are comfortable (sloppy) and shorts or jeans. I do try to look nice if I’m actually going somewhere though. Sad part bout it is that my family deserves to see me dressed better too. Not just the people at school of the doctors office or whatever. Speaking of the doctors office..

How to take care of my own health.

My mom always made sure that we went to the doctor or the dentist or what have you when I was growing up. But she never takes the time for her own health. She is in her 70’s now and she still does not schedule regular appointments for health issues. She always jokes about staying away from doctors because they are either fixing a broken bone or handing her a baby. She says she’s too old to have any more babies and would rather not break any more bones. Of course she is way healthier than I am even today so I guess that approach works for her. I on the other hand need to stay on top of my health issues or they will become a bigger problem than they already are.


How to really clean a house


Sure, I clean my house but I am not very good at it. Suzie Q Homemaker I am not. Daily maintenance is not something we were required to do. We cleaned when she yelled. And since she had a sick child and then in later years worked, she didn’t really yell all that much. I guess it was just easier for her to do it herself.  I learned how to vacuum the middle of the floors to get by but we never moved anything to vacuum under or around. Dusting was just not done in my house. Nor was organizing the things we had. We just threw everything all together. Good luck finding anything later.  As a result, we hardly ever had anyone over to our house. Now I repeat the same pattern.

How to prioritize

My sister was born very prematurely in 1977 and mom spent several years just getting through one more day. sometimes one more hour. Her priorities were keeping my sister alive(understandibly) so when it came to learning how to order important tasks well there just wasn’t time. I can get so frustrated and overwhelmed just trying to decide what to do next in my day. I have developed coping mechanisms (google calendar, anyone?) But little things like do I clean the kitchen or the living room first can bring me to a stand still. I know that sounds completely stupid but the end result can sometimes be that neither one gets done. Or do I blog or get on facebook first.  The logic here? Blog to get it done first but then I might get a better idea for a post from Facebook. But if I get on Facebook first I will probably not blog at all since I am so caught up in reading my newsfeed.

So my goals?

Learn to Prioritize better. and not by reading about it. I can read a subject to death and become a book expert at it but have no real world experience. Oh the things I know how to do in my head! But I have no hands on experience to back it up. It is sad really.

Figure out how to clean better. Learn by doing of course. I know enough theory to fill several textbooks. I decided to study homemaking for a while and have amassed quite a collection of books on the subject. Many of the books are antiques. They are very fascinating but not very helpful in actually getting the newspapers picked up and into the recycling bin. I also have a big collection of aprons which I never wear. Don’t know why I thought they would help me get things done, but I did.

Maybe I should be a Donna reed type and wear my heels while cleaning? That would kill two birds with one stone. It would definitely be a site to see…

Being Stylish and wearing makeup? The only way too accomplish this is to practice and take the time out in the mornings to get ready and not just throw on another ratty t-shirt.

If you can’t tell already, this post is the ramblings of an insomniac at 3 in the morning. I am going to go through this tomorrow to see if I want to change anything. Another thing to stop doing while I’m thinking about it? Self-censoring. I am still concerned with how people view me, even on my own blog. It’s my blog,I can ramble if I want to, damn it!

Well I am going to try to sleep now that I got this post out of my head and written sort of.

1 thought on “Things My Mother Never Taught Me”

  1. How very strange that many of the same things you deal with, I deal with. The feeling of being stuck between cleaning the living-room of the kitchen and ending up doing neither. Feeling the need to prioritize but failing to prioritize the prioritizing. The dusting and moving of furniture, it seems to make sense, but in the moment it becomes something lost. This was a great post, it let me know I am not alone in these things, perhaps just a little less crazy than I thought.

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